Sabotage is a 6,000 word essay written by journalist and podcaster Emma Gannon. I am a regular listener of Ctrl Alt Delete, and have previously read Emma’s book, The Multi-Hyphen Method, aimed at people with multiple jobs and income streams.

Sabotage was optioned for release by The Pound Project, where writers put together long-form essays on subjects of their choice, and much like crowd-funding, you can pledge to back the work in order to bring it to publication. Previous essays have been printed by writers including Pandora Sykes and Dolly Alderton.

The reason I pledged for Sabotage is because the topic of self-sabotage is pertinent to me. I’ve spent a long time being my own worst enemy. I have been declared by friends, the grand master of self-deprecation, (I was actually quite chuffed with that.) I regularly hit the mental self-destruct button on relationships in my twenties, and I have been plagued by Imposter Syndrome and ‘upper-limiting’ in various professional circles.

Needless to say, I found plenty that resonated with me! In particular, I recognised myself in the saboteur’s trait for investing in things that are inherently not good for us:

Stop chasing things that are bad for you. … This is when we have made a bad investment and we just keep chasing it because we want to save it. The best example is “I’ve put too much into this relationship to let it fail now”. … In the end, we have to let some things go. It doesn’t mean we are a failure, just that a pursuit we tried out didn’t quite work, and that’s okay.

Sabotage, by Emma Gannon

At 50 pages, this pocket-sized book was an interesting and practical read on my commute to a work meeting. This is definitely an essay that I would actively share among like-minded peers. I also love the concept of affordable writing that The Pound Project have brought to the table. From my initial pledge, to receiving regular project updates, through to the book’s delivery (in thoughtful eco-friendly packaging), it was great to feel a part of the process.

I would recommend checking out The Pound Project, and also Unbound, to find other great pitches to pledge on.

You can also read my review of Emma’s first novel Olive.