The Friend by Sigrid Nunez is not my first attempt at reading this author. I first borrowed a copy of The Vulnerables from the library, but I was unable to get into it and returned it early, unfinished. I hear many good things about Sigrid Nunez and thought perhaps I had picked the wrong book as my starting point. When I saw a copy of The Friend in a charity shop, I decided to give it a go.

The Friend is about a writer and university lecturer losing her dearest friend and mentor to suicide. She is persuaded to take on his Great Dane, Apollo, by his third wife who no longer wants the dog in the house. The main protagonist lives in a small apartment, up five flights of stairs, which does not allow for animals in the lease agreement. We follow an exploration of her grief unfolding, as she and Apollo slowly begin to bond.

I took a long time to get through The Friend. It didn’t grip me (but in fairness it isn’t marketed as a gripping read.) It is much more philosophical than I had anticipated. At times it takes deep dives into areas of research the main protagonist has read about, and it caused me to lose my way a little. I put it down a few times, with no strong pull to go back to it. When I did return to it, I felt a but rusty and unsure of where I was.

Towards the end of the novel I was more engrossed. I enjoyed reading the more detailed therapy sessions and life with Apollo, and wished there had been more of this. Reading her break down, sob, rage – that was where I really wanted to deep dive. There is overarching speculation as to whether the woman was in love with her friend. It’s a question that Nunez never answers, which I’m fine with. It’s good to have the reader draw their own conclusions. I think I wanted more from all of the relationships, whether they were human to human or human to dog. I’m left a little puzzled, ultimately. I think perhaps it just wasn’t quite for me, and in no way does that make it a bad book.

Hollywood treatment

I know that The Friend is now a film adaptation. I’ve not seen it and don’t know whether it’s got the Hallmark cosy movie treatment or not. It would be easy to do based on the story of Apollo, who himself mourns the loss of his owner. But ultimately the book is not a cosy story. They do find solace in each other, and I’m glad of it, but it is never a book I could call heartwarming.

Favourite lines from The Friend

I’ll leave this with a few of my favourite lines, all of which feature in the final chapters, when I was most invested.

Walking in Midtown, rush hour’s peak, people streaming in both directions, I find myself seething, ready to kill. Who are all these fucking people, and how is it fair, how is it even possible that all of them, these perfectly ordinary people should be alive, when you –

…

Your whole house smells of dog, says someone who comes to visit. I say I’ll take care of it. Which I do by never inviting that person to visit again.

…

And look at that nose: once a ripe dripping black plum, now crusty and gray like a used coal.

The Friend by Sigrid Nunez.